Our financial situation had been, from the beginning of our marriage five years ago, until now, a time of relying heavily on credit. Even though it seemed some of this couldn't be helped as we supported two homes, one for us and one for Eva's son who was going to college, I was still guilty of a certain prideful, self-sufficiency which manifested as living beyond my means. I had enough of a good credit history to merit many credit cards and earned enough monthly to be able to meet the minimum required payments. I always felt that God would rescue us financially—and knew that it would probably be at the last minute.

One day, on the Internet, I received an invitation to visit a place in Orlando, Florida, to go on a tour of a time-share property and just for doing this, I would receive two tickets to Disneyworld as well as two nights in a nice hotel. It seemed like a good deal to me. I knew we could go to this sales presentation and not buy a time-share. We had just sold some property, paying off some credit card debt, and had a fresh slate to work with on one of our credit cards so we packed up our silver Toyota Camry and off we went. I had even checked with God beforehand, about whether we should go on this trip and got a Yes.

Once there, we checked in and the next day we went to the presentation. I knew that God would supply our needs and that we did not need to get a time-share. I explained this to Eva but at one point she asked me if I had asked God about buying a time-share. I hadn't. I excused myself and went to the restroom where I did ask God if we should get a time-share and, surprise of all surprises, got a Yes.

Meanwhile, Eva was telling the sales person that we were not going to get one, but when I came back, I knew we were going to do this. I took Eva aside and told her what God had said and a wonderful joyous feeling came over her which she felt was a confirmation of God's love for her and a promise that He was going to financially bless us. That day, we purchased a time-share for $8000. This was with money we did not have. It was a time-share in which we were allowed to use the property for one week every other year, but with it came bargain prices and unlimited stays at resorts. During the closing, the finance lady told us her husband, a pastor used his privileges to bless members of his church. We envisioned holding seminars and inviting small groups to come to the nice property (in whatever city we were camped) and enjoy the teachings that God had given us to share. What a wonderful environment this could be, we dreamed!

Though time-shares seem to be a cash cow for some people I've talked with, for us it was a disaster. I had taken on an incredible additional debt of $8000. God did not see fit to bless us with an actual ministry yet, so we had no occasion to hold these wonderful teaching seminars we envisioned. When I saw that this time-share was not going to be much value to us, I tried to sell it, but a friend in the business told me I'd be lucky if I got pennies on the dollar for it.

First of all, let me say that this experience has been a challenge to Eva's faith. Not so much that she never uses this method anymore in hearing God and communicating with Him, but it has caused her to seriously question whether the material in this book ought to even be released to the public. She feels some who trust God and utilize this method might somehow get burned and, consequently, lose their faith in God. Or, conversely, some people might abuse this process and worship the coin flip, becoming dependent upon it rather than becoming completely dependent on God. It might seriously harm a "babe in Christ" (a new Christian) who may decide, after an experience similar to ours, to take up secular humanism and worship "rationalism" rather than even consider that we live in a supernaturally created universe and are supernatural creations ourselves, whom God loved so much that He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to die for.

I remember, though, as I review this whole situation in my mind, that it is biblical that God sends His precious children into precarious situations to expose ungodliness, sinful ways, and evil situations. God may, through the flip of a coin, choose to send us into Nineveh, where we are to cry out, "Repent!" Or we may, ourselves, be inclined to call out, "We repent!" We could choose to save our lives and not go anywhere or do anything, but the Lord does say that we are not to try to save our lives or we will lose them. We must not be fearful of taking risks for the Lord and, in this sincere desire, we may do what initially appears to be stupid things that we truly think are the right things to do. But, I ask you, if our heart sincerely wants to follow God's leading, how can this, ultimately, harm us? The Bible constantly asks us to trust God and the church leaders piously urge us to trust God—BUT not THIS much, they say as they shake their heads and point fingers at lot casters. Trust Him with all your hearts but don't be foolish and flip a coin to get His will on a matter. I'm sorry, but that is limiting God's Word and limiting God, Himself.

The true Christian must desire to take the light into the darkness. Our lights (God's light in us), will shine amazingly well in our protected and well defended environment, but the test is, will it shine when we visit the dark corners of the world where the light is truly needed? Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were not saved before they were thrown into the fiery furnace—but after. Daniel was not delivered from the lion's den before he was to be made a midnight snack, but after the fact. It was the witness of these four faith-filled men that turned pagan heads toward the Lord and still encourages us today as we read the Word. Not all the Christian stories have happy endings like those stories found in the book of Daniel. There will be many Christians meeting verbal attacks and even death and their bodies will be strewn along this understandably rarely trodden path toward complete trust in our almighty God. Nevertheless, we must walk boldly in faith. We must never lose sight of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. And, if we make mistakes, we will just have to trust in God that much more so that He can rectify our errors. In any case, living a life of radical trust in God is most certainly NOT living a mundane existence in which we try to keep things stable, using all of our creative energy to stay out of trouble. If we keep our focus on the Lord, trusting Him in all things, we will grow closer to Him, even as our lives appear to disintegrate before us. It is the mundane life that must die. We can't show the world the power of the Lord while we are sitting in our armchair, channel surfing. Yes, the mundane life must die! And it will! But be sure to grab the Hand of the Lord so that you are led properly into His greater life and His greater way.

Sure, I want to be comfortable just like everyone else on this planet, but true Christianity is not defined as a religion of comfort on this earth. Trials and tribulations do happen, especially to Christians. If everything is hunky dory and your life is filled with prosperity and your church preaches total happiness and joy and teaches that you can get everything you desire, run as fast as you can from that church and find a church that preaches the truth. More often than not, we need things that, to our limited way of thinking, would be undesirable (even painful).

Most definitely I have whimpered about that coin flip in the restroom a few years ago to the Lord. And most certainly I have been disappointed to see my wife lose heart. Nevertheless, I can't help but look at this amazing journal of casting lots and see all of the stories of the sequences of flipping coins in which a sincere inquiry was made of God, and I am amazed at how nearly every one of them, eventually, made sense and drew me closer to God. This one, however, seems to be a longer operation.

Nature of God: Over the past few days, I've been pondering my time-share purchase and God's hand on that coin flip. This morning, supernaturally (by randomly opening the book to the very page), I was led to Judges 20:18-28. Reading that, I saw that the Israelites, using the lot, were given permission to fight some battles in which they LOST. It was the third battle that God gave them victory. Thanks to the audio Bible commentary of Jon Courson, regarding this passage, I truly feel this part of God's Word deals with my situation. I will paraphrase Judges 20:18-28 now.

A civil war is raging between the eleven other tribes of the Israelites and the Benjamites. The Benjamites do not want to give up the ruthless murderers who had raped a man's concubine, killing her. The other tribes say that the murderers must be executed. Casting the lot, (as is indicated in Judges 20:9), it was determined that the tribe of Judah would be the first to engage the Benjamites. The first two battles were disasters for the prideful and confident Israelites—despite the fact that by consulting the lot, God had told them to go ahead into battle. God had, then, actually directed them into losing battles but, God knew the Israelites' hearts. They were prideful and not relying solely on Him. Before the third day (and third battle) however, a change took place in the hearts of the Israelites. They became humble, weeping and fasting, as well as offering up burnt offerings and being ministered to by an actual ancestor of Aaron, brother of Moses. They totally submitted to God and this time, when they cast the lot, God told them, (in my opinion, through both the lot and the Holy Spirit), that He was going to give the Benjamites into the hands of the Israelites. And, indeed, that is what happened through some very clever maneuvering of the troops.

At the time I cast the lot in that restroom in Florida, I was no where near any repentance for all the credit cards I was living on. It would take a few more years before I humbly came to the Lord with a desire to be free from credit card debt. I strongly believe that, just as the Israelites were prideful as they got permission from God to fight the Benjamites the first two times (losing badly), I was given permission to buy the timeshare though it would lead to tribulation. God knows our hearts. On the other side of that tribulation and pain, lies a more pure heart willing to submit to God and a freedom that is far better than anything a credit card could purchase. God purchased my ultimate freedom from sin through His Son, Jesus Christ, on the cross and it was not done by credit card. It was a direct deposit that, humbly, I can bank on! This is what I humbly bank on, now, as I pray daily for God to continue delivering me from my reliance on credit cards. I know the truth, that I am free. I am just waiting for my life to catch up with what I know now. I am sorry that my wife had to take some heat for my sin of relying on credit instead of God. The Bible shares numerous stories of sinning men whose entire families were slain with them (see Daniel 7:24, 2nd Chronicles 21:14, and Numbers 16:27-32 for a few of them). I truly regret my straying from the path.

Eva's Note: The jury is still out of me on the time share. It has worked for our good in that Victor is careful to not rely on credit. I agree, I should have never asked Victor to ask God on something that is a "no-brainer". We should question a cast of the lot when it conflicts with God's word. God's word says not to borrow or lend. I still wish God would have said, "No." I was so sure He would, I was already telling the salesman we were not going to buy. I was shocked when Victor said we should buy it and all I could think was, God is going to bless us and we will hold seminars and retreats at these resorts. So I have struggled with my faith in the lot casting method of seeking God, because I refused to believe God is a trickster who would play with my emotions and trust. I also ponder that since we've learned our hard lesson, it seems God would allow the time share to sell for us. We reduced it, drastically so I wait upon the Lord for the conclusion of this story. Hopefully, it will restore my faith completely in this method of seeking His will. It may have just been a camel, foolish, worldly stumble on our part, due to evil desires for luxury in our hearts. If that is so, then I am glad that God chose to afflict us for our purification and His glory.

Back

TOC

Next