The dilemma we faced is that we wanted to pay for the CDs but as we were suffering some financially, how much should we give? This group had five CDs from which we had to choose. Eva wanted to be generous; I wanted to be somewhat cautious. I decided to do as God wanted, but I had to find out what that was. Knowing most people would not understand that I prayerfully flip a coin, as a way to find out God's will, I looked for a secluded place. Seeing a door that led to another room, I slipped quietly into it and prayed that God's hand be in a coin toss. I asked how much we should give. $10? (tails – No), $20 (tails – No), $30 (tails – No). I was getting upset with all the “No's” I was getting. In frustration, I asked, “Anything? Anything at all?” and for the first time got heads (Yes). This was not making any sense to me. Any amount was a sacrifice for us. Money was tight as we were supporting Eva's son as he attended college.

I walked out of the room, somewhat distraught and I told Eva that I got “No's” on every toss except “Anything?” She and I both went into that little room and she said, “Why don't you ask if it is supposed to be higher?” I did. “No.”

“Eva,” I said, not really knowing what to say, “sometimes I know that I get in the way, like I'm not prayed up or something. You take over. What do you want to give?”

She looked at me and said, “How about $20?”

“Okay,” I responded as we walked back out. I was frustrated at what apparently was my failure to receive any sort of answer that made sense to me.

I walked over to the table and chose two CDs of the five there as I thought for $20, two of them would be a fair deal. The lady selling/giving the CDs took the two I chose and carefully picked up one of each of the ones I hadn't chosen and added them to my pile. She said, lovingly and sincerely, that as fellow musicians, we ought to have all their CDs. Instantly, it was as if a light went off in my head. God WAS making sense with His answer to me. His answer was, “Don't ask me specifically. Give anything, anything at all. Any amount will be fine."

Nature of God: I'd like to show you what happened with this particular incident. I wanted to ask God how much we should give. When I asked Him specifically, He said “No” many times. When I asked, “Should I give anything?” He said, “Yes.” I was confused because I didn't know that He did not want me to ask SPECIFICALLY. He only wanted me to ask generally. “Yes,” He said, “give anything you wish. You will be supplied with CDs.”

God has a mind. He has a will, also. Isaiah says that His mind is higher than our mind and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. God gave me an answer that was outside what I expected to receive and, consequently, I was unable to understand the answer. Eventually, I got it and was appreciative that I could have given anything. But, in this age of rationalization, people do not give God any credence. They do not think He is valid. Consequently, many miss the wonderful opportunity to get to know our Creator.

I am more in awe of God everyday. I truly find Him the most fascinating Creator and Father. I am nudged, prodded, encouraged, outright enthralled and excited to know Him more and more. Those who go through life, not even knowing if there is a God, are missing the privilege and joy of meeting their truest and best Friend. This Friend is not found by cloudy thinking, caused by buying into the world's appearances. He is found by faith. He is found when we start thinking, “God, I know You are there, show me Your will. Use any means to do it. I want to know it. And I will heed it. I do not want to rely on my will any longer.”

Do the tears roll down your face, too, as you cry out to the Lord for this? As your heart hungers, God answers, unfailingly. How will He answer your hunger for Him and your deep desire to do His will?

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